STAB! 103 - Four Cherry-Ahh-Ritas Deep

They’re not froo-froo, lady drinks! They’re 8% yum booze yum it ups -- ya jerk face! Just ‘cause I don’t like the taste of beer doesn’t mean I don’t like the taste of being drunk! Set me and my boys up with another round and shut yer yapper, turd! 

STAB! bartender John Ross bellies up to sippy drinkers Chris Emery, Court Hansen and Jesse Jones and lets ‘em bend his ear about a bunch of stuff, like a reimagining of a dead Otis Redding's "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay", Marv Albert, the invention of masking tape, the pop-up toaster, UK vehicle disasters, all female North Pole expeditions, the bubonic plague, nine haiku about a father defeating his daughter in a death match, three different WWFs, made-up movie synopses for "Boo Boo New New Doo Doo Goo Goo Bam!", "Exccccuuuussse Me?" & "Teddy and the Potato Skins" and tourism board guides for Silver-fox-ington, You-ain’t-shit-ville & Sun-yer-buns-town.

Alright, okay... somebody should probably take my keys, I might’ve had a couple too many delicious, fruit cough syrup flavored booze drinks. I’m gonna puke a rainbow...