Look at me! I could be: second base! … No. Hold on… Look at me! I could be: pinch runner! NO! Damn it. I know there’s something here, I just have to peel back the layers and it will reveal itself to me!
In the meantime STAB! Coach John Ross welcomes hitters Stephen Ferris, Rhoda Ramone and Jesse Jones to share their writings on the subjects of skier Bill Johnson, the Florida Territory, JEOPARDY!, MC Hammer, Jose Canseco’s Lamborghini, Vladimir Denissenkov, nine pit bull betrayal Haiku, the top 15 Google searches for a tiny buttholed drug smuggler, Penthouse letters to magazines, The Daily Tea, Sculptural Pursuit, and Human Rights Quarterly, and synopses for made-up movies: The Shit Ducks, The Miracle of Ham, and Wheezing Wahlberg.
Look at me! I could be: small forward! GAH! NO! Son of a-- … Okay. It’s okay. It’s fine. I could be something. What could I-- AH! I’ve got it! Look at me! I could be: the infield fly rule-- DAMN IT!