Hey NERD, this summer camp belongs to me and my rich friends across the lake and no matter how much you learn about friendship, no matter how hard you montage and no matter how many times you see my girlfriend’s boobs, you’ll never, EVER beat me.
In this STAB!, Principal John Ross asks cool kids Jaclyn Weiand, Edgar Granados and Tyler Kinney all about Cleopatra’s unpronouncibly named son, oboist Paul Goodwin, Salma Hayek, Pope Innocent X’s Castro-struction, Bob (John?) Denver’s death, Swiss landslides, topical Arizona toddler drowning kaiku, various and varied VMAs, tragic conjoined twin Google searches, erotic poetry about the importance of prayer, Taco Bell & broken leg surgery and marriage vows to: that guy who always pretends to punch people to get them to flinch, the person who cuts in line and the antagonist from every ‘80s movie.
Well, I’m so confident that there’s nothing you can do at this point DWEEB, that I’m not even gonna try that hard ‘cause I know that it would take the most surprising turn of events in this, the very last second for you to possibly prevail. Hey, you guys hear somethin’?