STAB! 104 - The Mouse Shall Not Be Questioned


The Mouse has deemed that it is once again time for STAB! and so therefore it is once again time for STAB! The STAB! program shall begin and it shall be enjoyed. Do not question the Mouse.

On this Mouse approved episode of STAB!, host John Ross speaks with Zach Coles, Nick Magavern and Jesse Jones on such Mouse approved subjects as, Saddam Hussein’s sons Uday and Qusay, Jimi Hendrix, the Preparedness Day Bombing, Jeffrey Dahmer, Pi Appreciation Day, sheep electrocution, three takes on OTTO, nine haiku about the texts of a pre-Black Bear mauled Alaskan teen, the tourism guides for Burn-dis-bish-downington, Parole-ville & Mediocri-city, and the top five pick up lines of an Overworked Blender, a Belly Button, and Captain Crunch.

To question the Mouse is to question goodness and wholesomeness and fun and joy itself. Why would one choose to do so knowing that the punishment awaiting them is so unspeakable. Obey the Mouse and be rewarded. Question the Mouse and be destroyed. The Mouse hall not be questioned.

STAB! 103 - Four Cherry-Ahh-Ritas Deep

They’re not froo-froo, lady drinks! They’re 8% yum booze yum it ups -- ya jerk face! Just ‘cause I don’t like the taste of beer doesn’t mean I don’t like the taste of being drunk! Set me and my boys up with another round and shut yer yapper, turd! 

STAB! bartender John Ross bellies up to sippy drinkers Chris Emery, Court Hansen and Jesse Jones and lets ‘em bend his ear about a bunch of stuff, like a reimagining of a dead Otis Redding's "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay", Marv Albert, the invention of masking tape, the pop-up toaster, UK vehicle disasters, all female North Pole expeditions, the bubonic plague, nine haiku about a father defeating his daughter in a death match, three different WWFs, made-up movie synopses for "Boo Boo New New Doo Doo Goo Goo Bam!", "Exccccuuuussse Me?" & "Teddy and the Potato Skins" and tourism board guides for Silver-fox-ington, You-ain’t-shit-ville & Sun-yer-buns-town.

Alright, okay... somebody should probably take my keys, I might’ve had a couple too many delicious, fruit cough syrup flavored booze drinks. I’m gonna puke a rainbow...

STAB! 102 - Window Duck

We are a country of many diverse peoples from places dotting the entirety of the globe. So it’s only natural to find confusing some things that to others are customary. It’s cool, it’s still weird though...

And so in an attempt to better understand the world around us, John Ross, the host of this community outreach show called STAB!, queries guests Johnny Taylor, Stephen Ferris and Jesse Jones about new ways to get food to old peoples, Canadian lawyer Dick Pound, Tara Lipinsky, the Jamestown massacre, rapper Phife Dog, Niagara Falls, World Water Day, three new P90Xs, nine poison Chinatown tea haiku, the explanations of soul music to a ginger KKK, websites to an Amish toddler, & Bronies to a seven year old My Little Pony fan, and erotic poems about an ice cream parlor, compression socks and an electric fly swatter.

And so, may storefront hung, golden browned waterfowl not be seen as “crazy” or “gross”, but as another threat in the great, lunatic tapestry that IS, this fine country of ours. USA! USA! USA!

STAB! 101 - Spin Doctors Erotic Fan Fiction

He stepped into the throne room only to find a sight beyond his wildest dreams. Not one, but TWO Princes, ready and waiting, their robes fallen around their feet, their crowns, strategically hung.

STAB! Returns for the one hundred and first time, guided by hosty host John Ross as he pelts guests Tyler Kinney, Joey Stults and Jesse Jones with questions about what Richard Simmons is up to, the Flying Wallendas, the outlaw of gambling in the Massachusetts, cable car expulsions, Pam Smart, FDR’s beer legalization, laser patents, a trio of trios of pick-up lines to Tomi Lahren’s aborted baby, Russia, and the Oroville Dam, the Top Five Google searches from artists on their 90s mix tapes, the synopses of made-up movies “Kale Babies”, “The Secret Life of Pee”, & "Bejewled", and tourism guides for Doo-wop-abama, All-alone-ian, and Hollandaise-ia.

So can Little Miss truly not be wrong when she’s neck deep in Spin Doctors? Read and find out for yourself. And, you know, listen to this episode too…