STAB! 100 - The Gang’s All Here

So it’s finally here. You know, when we started expressing our episode numbers with three digits, some might have thought it presumptuous. We did too. But now it looks like we did it on purpose.

For the 100th (ish) time, John Ross STAB!s at guests Edgar Granados, Rhoda Ramone, Stephen Ferris, Danielle Mandella, Ben Rice, Lendy West, Luke Soin, Nick Brunner, Jaclyn Weiand, Daniel Humbarger, Jaime Fernandez, Joe-Joe Louis, Tyler Kinney, Alfonso Portela, and Jesse Jones about such topics as Shannen Doherty, Eugene H Farrar, Mount Vesuvius, Davy Jones, Jane Austen, "American Pie" by Don McLean, four different CXVIIIs, nine NASA extinction level event warning haiku, the dating profiles of an Ovipositor, a Zumba class, a gingerbread man, & a ten dollar bill, and tourism board guides for the towns of Socialjustopia, Camp I-See-Your-Pee-pee, Showty-what-yo-name-is-ing-ton?, and STAB!donia.

There’s nothing better than spending important moments with friends, and if you’re listening to this show, we count you among that number. Thanks for joining us for one, ten, fifty or even a hundred trips through STAB!donia. We look forward to receiving your appreciations at our next live show!

STAB! 099 - Bottle Koozie

A place for everything, and everything in its place. Does that go there? Can that go there? Two different questions and the answer to one is not necessarily the answer to both. But who am I to question your form and function?

These answers and so many more, culled by STAB! Man, John Ross, from guests Jaime Fernandez, Parker Newman and Jesse Jones as they tell us what 99 things they’d like to have, and talk about a Charlie Brown Christmas, the eradication of Smallpox, Joycelyn Elders, Frank Sinatra Jr., Jerry Rice, G.E.’s Communist Purge, nine Russian Teen decapitation haiku, three different FAQs, explanations of why Jaime isn’t married, to her mother, the ultimateness of metal explained to Trisha Yearwood fans, and how sausage is made to a sausage, and angry/erotic poems about parades, charades and chicken marinades.

Your storage capacity may differ from mine, and it is not my place to question how you choose to stock your shelves. But if you say that beer bottle will last longer for the task you have set ahead, well, you’d probably know better than I.

STAB! 098 - Karate Friends

If you do karate, you could hardly help yourself from having karate friends. It would seem to come with the territory. But not all of us have colorful belts, but would sure love to have friends who did. How do people do that?

John Ross leads this episode of STAB!, discussing with Cory Barringer, John’s “cousin” Lippy Whatnot and Jesse Jones non-karate subjects like Michael Jackson’s Thriller, Illegal Italian Fireworks, Nigel Buxton, indoor softball, the first eclipse, Lucy & Desi’s wedding, three different takes on NAAKKK, the synopsis of made-up movies: “The Tales of Joe Cockerspaniel”, “Ginger, NO!” and “Muppet Gravy”, the Top Five Google searches of each guest’s Best Selves, and erotic poems about home renovations, the Spanish language, and Meals on Wheels.

I mean, just because they dedicate their lives to the martial arts, doesn’t mean they can’t know others who haven’t. That’s not, like a rule is it? Man, I want karate friends.

STAB! 097 - A Rube Goldbergian Suicide Machine

Life offers us plenty of choices, so why shouldn’t its last, be a whimsical one? As all of the cogs in your intricate machine lock in place, be amazed by all of the possibilities of life one last time.

STAB! person John Ross probes the minds of Lendy West, Ellis Rodriguez and Jesse Jones, quizzing about them on such hot button topics as Meteorite Murder, Clay Aiken, human face transplants, Jewish lawyers, Olga Rypakova, Rob Pilatus, three different takes on CUBA, nine Dutch Duck genocide haiku, hot pickup lines for the Mario Brothers, Sacramento Kings Mascot Slamson and a 1940s Typewriter and the sales pitches for spittoons in a town afflicted with dry mouth, toilets for genital and rectumless peoples and a rap demo tape to your mom’s friends.

Cause and effect, that’s what’s brought us here, and that’s what will take us away, if we know how to do it and if we’ve got the dedication to showing existence one more time who was really the boss of you all along.